When you’re planning on skipping bail you know just who to call. “We will get you out of any jail, anytime! …once we handle our unpaid parking tickets — please don’t ask us about tax season either.” When you’ve got a true beat on the street, all you need is your feet…

The desert is a cruel lover, out to kill you her heart void of water, full of danger. But at least she doesn’t lie about it. If you relapse into greed, perhaps all you need is to speed into the dark void of the land of death. Through the dusty miles of…

The highest tree in Los Angeles. The ‘Wisdom Tree’ is that bushy pinnacle standing slightly higher than the Hollywood sign. For years I’ve wanted to make the climb, and for years I’ve done the 21-mile round trip hike from Echo Park Lake to the top of the Hollywood sign — but it wasn’t until…

With varying doom does the winter loom. Mankind prepares and fears, others buffalo on as the frost appears. No matter the year, time clicks on — crunching of leaves to crunching of snow; the slop of sleet to the sun’s bright glow. Eventually, the sun rises again, the grass reaches through the mud, and the world is…

The plastic pumpkin past its prime watches longingly, as the Christmas decorations ascend. Another year, another harvest gone past. The season of spook — a ghost at last, now on to the season of joy, or so it’s called. Don’t ask the turkey their opinion on the matter, a holiday mostly forgotten, washed over by the peppermint spice and…

Busted, rusted, and not to be trusted. Too many wrong turns, full of mistakes and heartbreaks. But time turns on, always speeding for the next dawn. Here you lay, rotting upside down on the lawn fresh grass grows all around, only to blow away again with that lonely sound howling in the wind…

Wheels up, wheels down. Lost somewhere out of town — home on the tarmac; comfortably in the clouds. Must be fate — Hurry up and wait, wait to hurry up. There’s money to be made, dreams to be slayed — while my youth quickly fades. No time to stop, damn the clock. Work…

Creepy Clem the Llama has been slipping pumpkin spice into everyone’s beverages. Stay alert — he’s not to be trusted and is very, very sneaky. Authorities from the Llama Watch Group have issued a warning: “If unchecked this fall — there will be an increase In peppermint and ginger spiking at…

The rarest birds fly alone. The Prairie Falcon represents freedom, ambition, and victory. Its scream is unforgettable, as is its ability to cut through the sky, vigilant and stoic — death from above, master hunter of the wind. Some consider the falcon king of birds; and the prairie falcon is the West’s king —…