Member-only story
Dear Santa,
This year I don’t want any presents under the tree.
Don’t need someone here with me.
I just want equality from sea to shining sea.
No new pot or pan, just a universal health plan.
Forget the remote controls;
gift us more giving souls.
Trade the virtual reality
for a little congeniality.
Be a pal to me
and stick to formality,
don’t forget who you owe coal —
I don’t want to wonder if you’ve sold your soul.
Outsold on an internet death scroll —
gingerbread taking its toll.
Rotting by the burning fireplace,
I’ll be waiting to see your face.
In the usual place,
you’ll find your cookies and milk,
though I’m not sure where to place the guilt.
A gluttonous season,
we used to have a reason.
But now minimalism is treason.
So, save your shimmy
down my chimney —
and ask ole Rudolf with his nose so bright
to help us with this COVID spike.
Merry Fuckin’ Christmas.
December 25, 2021